BOOK REVIEW - INDEPENDENCE By Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

So, I picked up this book because I saw a lot of reels and reviews about this author and wanted to give it a try. Also, I was thinking of reading a fiction after a long time as I was only reading the best selling self help and motivation books for some time now.

Well, the book revolves around 3 female characters, Deepa, Jamini and Priya - 3 sisters and of course as the name of the book is very clear, the story is placed around the time 1946 where India is on the verge of achieving its independence and continues to 1948, which is the beginning of the post independence era. The one line in the book that I have marked summarizes the whole book -

“ The year is 1947. It is the best of times. It is the worst of times” .

I always thought that the year 1947 is the best for India, because the country achieved its independence after years of struggle and we are no more ruled by the British. However, many of us do not realize the trauma of partition, that the people of Punjab and Bengal went through. I have come across movies and documentaries about partition wherein the violence and the struggles of partition in Punjab have been portrayed and it is very heart breaking to note that the country struggled through this phase. However, this is the first time I have come across a historical fiction which talks about the partition of Bengal into West and East, and the trauma of so many families who had to move and the pain of both the Hindus and Muslims who were victims of communal violence.

In this story of Independence, the author captures the lives of 3 Bengali sisters, who lose their father to the communal violence on Calcutta and have to move on in life. It is a good read because the story flows and you are intrigued to know what happens eventually in each of their lives. It is somewhere disappointing because there is  tragedy, failures, death, failed love lives etc., , but isn't that life? The author also beautifully captures the love story of Deepa and Raza, which shows that love is beyond religion and how one can go to any extent just for the love of their lives. There is also the ambitious Priya, who leaves her love of many years to pursue her ambition, and also leaves her ambitious dreams when her family is in trouble and runs to their rescue. Much relatable??!! The most subtle and difficult character, but the most real is of Jamini who is insecure, jealous, talented, loving, and sacrificial all at the same time. I enjoyed reading this book and it was like watching a series about the Independence day. I look forward to reading other books of Chitra Banerjee as I think I would certainly enjoy reading more books with strong female characters. 

Rating - 4/5 

SHE IS SOMEONE!!

Today, the 8th of March is celebrated as International Women's day and we are supposed to acknowledge and honor all the women around the world and celebrate being a WOMAN. 

But the kind of messages and wishes I got today have been so frustrating that I had to write here after all these years...

# Tagging Women by their roles - 

Firstly, why are women defined by what they are to other people? Someone's wife, Someone's mother, Someone's daughter, someone's sister - one post even said - colleague and grand mother. When will we start acknowledging a women for what she is and what she has achieved for herself? When will we say she is someone!! She does not need tags of recognition basing on what she is to someone else!! The peculiar thing is that we do not use these tags to define a man...When did we say... He is a father ,a son, a husband, and praised the many roles he plays for the society?? 

It is time that women are seen and appreciated for what they are, the way they are and whoever they are!!

I AM ME (An individual free from social positioning)* 

# Prejudice and Judgement - 

The society passes on such easy judgement on women. If she has achieved too much professionally, she must have slept her way up. If she is a spinster at 50, she must be too selfish and picky. If she is married too early, she must be weak and given up to the pressures of society. If she is divorced, she must be too arrogant and stubborn and does not know how to adjust in her life. If she is married and she does not have children in 2-3 yrs, then she is too full of herself! If she doesn't marry and decides to still love a man, oops then she is a whore! If she is too ambitious and pushes too hard for her career..she surely must be a bad mother and a bad wife! 

Wow - it is surprising to see the kind of prejudices we have in mind and the ease with which we pass on judgement about women we hardly know anything about! And wait... it doesn't stop with their lives... they are judged for their appearances, career choices, personal lives and capabilities in general....

She wears too much makeup - Judge her ( she is sluttish) 

She doesn't wear any makeup - Judge her ( she is behenji) 

She shows too much skin - Judge her; She dresses conservatively - Judge her 

She is heavy, chubby and plump - Judge her (body sham her), 

She is thin, slim and slender - Judge her (again body sham her)

She is a working woman - Judge her; She is a housewife - Judge Her

# Choices in Life 

And hell breaks loose when women decide to make their own choices and live by them! I was surprised by the questions I was asked when I decided that I want a divorce. My cousin asked - ' You were so patient all theses years with all the abuse. So why now? A friend asked - ' Why so Late??? You should have given up long back! Isn't it my choice of when and what decision I make about my life?? After all, I am the one who will face the consequences. And the assumptions made about this decision were shocking - she has grown too much in her career and now she is arrogant and that is why she is leaving her husband! She is surely having an affair and has decided to get rid of her husband! 

Initially, I was furious and frustrated with these questions and suppositions people were throwing at me for my decisions. But, with time I understood that their opinions and speculations did not matter to me at all! What mattered to me was whether I was confident with my decision and Whether I was happy about it! I am proud of many choices that I made in my life and I am also regretful of many decisions that I took. But, as long as I know it was my choice, I am ready to own up to it and take full responsibility of the consequences. 

So, what do you think women want?? I think we want the freedom of choice and we do not need someone to allow us/ disallow us to do something/ not to do something!! 

As a society, give the women the freedom of choice. If we make a mistake, we will learn from it, if we fall, we will raise up again, if we are bruised, we will learn to heal our wounds, and when we succeed, we will have the gratification and pride of making the right choice. 

And WOMEN, just be happy.... start deciding for yourself... Do not care about the prejudices, judgement, assumptions and what not this society will throw at you! 

Insist on making your choices and making your own mistakes! 

Insist on living by your rules and Insist on choosing yourself over anything else!! 

Make that choice, live that dream, fulfill that craving, grab that opportunity and relish that freedom!!

No matter what anyone says and no matter what everyone else pushes you to do - Insist on being HAPPY and insist on being FREE!!

* I AM ME (An individual free from social positioning) - Copied from a dear friend's FB post which inspired me to post my thoughts!!

Man & God!!

hmm... its been a great long time I have even looked at this blog...!! Life has changed and my routine has changed. I sleep early in the morning ..... wake up late afternoon .... eat late dinner .... and then go to sleep early in the morning and that has been my routine for the past few weeks!! However, I decided to wake up early today at any cost... which for me was just 8 am .... but even 8 am was rather hard for me!! Even though I woke up on time ....I spent most of my day feeling tired due to lack of sleep!! well .... What inspired me to change my routine was Mark 1: 35, from the Holy Bible. I was reading my Bible when I came across this verse which said in precise words.... that Jesus woke up early in the morning even when it was dark, left the house, went off to a solitary place and prayed. Even as I read this verse, I started imagining how Jesus would actually wake up early and just take a walk to some quite place and pray...And as I imagine this, it just seemed all wonderful to me at once.!!! So many questions crossed my mind...did he even get enough sleep as he would often be followed by crowds....he would preach and heal people all day long...!! I wonder if he ever slept?? How did he manage wake up on time?? What must have been his alarm ( because he went to pray when it was still dark)?? Was there even an alarm clock or was it just a routine for him to wake up on time?? Did he ever say - a few more minutes please....as I say that when I hit the snooze button....After all, he was human and God equally. When I say that, I don't mean he was half human and half God....but he was completely human and completely God at the same time....!!I wondered at all these questions! How beautiful, wonderful, awesome, mysterious and amazing is the fact that he was God and man at the same time!!!! How amazing would be the sight where the "Son of God" would kneel and talk to the father above in a beautiful and solitary place!! I don't know if my human brain would ever comprehend this wonderful concept of trinity and of Jesus being equally human and God at the same time!! But one lesson learnt from Mark 1:35 - Wake up in the morning and pray.... That of course is the best time...So I'll just wrap it up and try to improve my routine and wake up on time tomorrow!!

Praise the Lord...

Chandu!!

My lovely 'Grandma'

When I came from India to this country, I knew I was going to miss everyone. One of the most important person was my 'Ammamma'...I not only missed her..but was so frightened of loosing her...being not there when I have to...this was because I somewhere knew and was ready to accept the fact that she was getting older day by day...but I also knew I would never be ready to accept the fact that she would leave me one day...When my cousin told me she was ill..I prayed because I was afraid...I told God- I don't want anything in life..I just want my 'Ammamma'!! When I thnink about her, she's been falling sick from so many years....she would fall sick and then recover back all the time...so this time when they said she was really sick...everyone, especially me thought that she was gonna be fine pretty soon!! But she did not recover....and we lost her...I cannot believe it sometimes...she passed away on 18th of October and I still think may be she is around.. It happened so one night in December....I was up late in the night trying to study because it was the finals week...!! I called my mom during one of my breaks and she was attending a cousins marriage...That reminded me...everyone would be there and my "Ammamma' must be alone in the house because she does not travel...I immediately started dialing her number so that I could talk to her...That is when the truth struck me...It was 2 1/2 months already, but the fact she was not on this earth anymore...did not sink in..!!! I started writing this post...long back.....when I lost her....could not complete it till today

(March 2010) .....I guess I just was not ready to accept the fact..!!

People spoke so much about her...but there was one thing that struck me...I felt she loved me the most among all the grandchildren.. Surprise...others thought she loved them the most...Same with her children...She exhibited so much love without ever telling us literally that she did...Everyone thought she loved them the most...!! I wonder how she managed that...with 8 children..!! I always knew she was the most confident woman I have ever seen...and she was really sincere and loyal...!! She has taught me a lot of things...including Telugu...!! She was one of my first teachers indeed..And Now I know it would be a long time before I could even see her!! But above all, I knew she loved God and I know she would be there in eternity with us..!!

Love you Ammamma..!!

Life is a struggle...???

hmm....well no reason giving this time....its just a post with no reason.....
I am vexed up with life......Have 100's of things to worry about and as you know am very low on wisdom n very irresponsible as a person....well... i will list out my problems here and lemme c how i deal with them in the coming days....
first thing on my mind - fundamentals of financial management - I hate this subject and seriously i don't understand a single thing of whats happening ......how does WACC connect to capital budgeting, capital structure, cost of capital, the diff ratios etc etc and hence am very poor in the case analysis...this is gonna b a hard journey....and I hope I just sail through it somehow....
then come the ppl around me.... everyone is seriously bugging me....look at me - an aspiring HR specialist not able to handle people around herself and struggling with it....eeekk...God save me...!! Esp at times like these I feel I am a dumb head...!!!
I never understood economics and never thought things would affect me ..but they are..Inflation for sure is bothering...am trying to cut down expenses but am not successful....every other day der is a new need and the prices of commodities are damn high....am making rotis and not eating tortillas(both health n wealth reasons)...trying 2 photocopy chapters than buying books etc.,.....done!!
the next thing on my head is the economic downturn...though i do not understand the exact implications of it...i know der are lay -offs everywhere and very fews job out der....omG....wat will I do if i graduate..thank God I still have time...but will things be ok after I graduate...I dont know....lets just wait and watch....The loan is always on my head and I know I have to work...and The grad school is still after me for my first semesters mistake of mechanical engineering.....Kab tak mera peecha karegi yeh mech dept :(.......
Then comes the part which has been and will be always on my mind....the missing home part....i remember mom so much now-a-days..I miss her guidance...I have to handle everything with out her ...I even have to cook twice a week and I really don't enjoy it like many others do....!! Then comes the controversy part...behave like a girl lectures which I had many times from many people ....may be they have a point....
I then sometimes feel...all my friends and people of my age are settling down or have settled down...I have many definitions for being settled .....people either have jobs or are married or are in the process of getting married ad some people to my surprise have children..he he.... other people at least have boy friends and that shows they have someone to constantly support them through their struggle and then at least one big mysterious figure of their life is revealed........wonderful....!! And here I am still struggling to settle down in life....makes me sad sometimes....!!
above all.. I am all the time either busy with something or guilty of something and hence I don't pray...Oh...how I miss my family prayer, my church activities and my relationship with God,..!! I miss life there...

So, what do I conclude...?? Chota sa dimaag and 100 resposiblities....!! and above that nil guidance...!! Hope God helps me out...!! I have at last started realising what life is all about :(
I dont know whether I should be happy or not, but that I will decide when am through and out of all this!!

Luv,
Chandu

"LOVE YOU" - DADDY !!!

Well, I was thinkin of my dad ...was missing him way too much....so wrote this for him.....I dedicate this to him...!! And this is how it goes..!!

The best Dad in the whole world!!!

When God made me, he thought and thought;
And decided to give me to a person with a great heart.
He put me in the safest hands,
And said - " I know this is what I planned".

He was gracious enough to make you my dad,
And life without you would be dull and sad.
You held my hand and led me through,
And watched me grow taller than you.

I think of your hug and your loving kiss,
And that's the best part of what I now miss.
You guided me, taught me, gave me everything,
And without you my world goes down to nothing.

You are humble and warm, blessed with a soul so neat,
You held me when I was down and got me back to my feet.
I can never forget the day, I opened my eyes and turned my head,
And saw you praying for me, kneeling there beside my bed.

I remember the day you let me go,
And I don't know how I let those moments just flow.
I know that day was really hard for you,
And I want to tell you, it was tough for me too.

I hope I will be back, close to you and near,
And that's when I know, will be the end of every tear.
Lastly, evrything said above is genuine and true,
And there is only one thing I want you to know - DADDY - "I LOVE YOU"


- Chandana Medithi

Life without Musings..!!

A few people now ask me...what happened to your musings...I answered..." I don't have any right now..!!" and so here I am .... no posts for more than a month...was busy with India for a few days...and now I seem to be busy with my studies ....sometimes I wonder...how would it be if I were able to fly back in time.....where I always had ample time for me , myself and my family...!! I am suprised to see that I sometimes skip off a few days without talking to my mom...!! And thanks to the virus attack on my computer back home......I can't see my parents and my sister on the webcam now...I wonder if they still miss me or are they used to their new lifes without me..!! I don't know...but I can imagine how boring their life would be without me....I was the sole entertainer when Sruju was not in mood and she was rarely in mood...!! I am amazed still to see how things change, how people change, how priorities in life change, how friends change, how situations change and finally how you yourself change because of life...!!!!! God has put me in this place...where I have kinda lost myself......amazing that I don't sing and don't write anymore...and I know this is not me.... I don''t know what is in store but I am still waiting to go back..!!

Chandu ( out of musings)