SHE IS SOMEONE!!

Today, the 8th of March is celebrated as International Women's day and we are supposed to acknowledge and honor all the women around the world and celebrate being a WOMAN. 

But the kind of messages and wishes I got today have been so frustrating that I had to write here after all these years...

# Tagging Women by their roles - 

Firstly, why are women defined by what they are to other people? Someone's wife, Someone's mother, Someone's daughter, someone's sister - one post even said - colleague and grand mother. When will we start acknowledging a women for what she is and what she has achieved for herself? When will we say she is someone!! She does not need tags of recognition basing on what she is to someone else!! The peculiar thing is that we do not use these tags to define a man...When did we say... He is a father ,a son, a husband, and praised the many roles he plays for the society?? 

It is time that women are seen and appreciated for what they are, the way they are and whoever they are!!

I AM ME (An individual free from social positioning)* 

# Prejudice and Judgement - 

The society passes on such easy judgement on women. If she has achieved too much professionally, she must have slept her way up. If she is a spinster at 50, she must be too selfish and picky. If she is married too early, she must be weak and given up to the pressures of society. If she is divorced, she must be too arrogant and stubborn and does not know how to adjust in her life. If she is married and she does not have children in 2-3 yrs, then she is too full of herself! If she doesn't marry and decides to still love a man, oops then she is a whore! If she is too ambitious and pushes too hard for her career..she surely must be a bad mother and a bad wife! 

Wow - it is surprising to see the kind of prejudices we have in mind and the ease with which we pass on judgement about women we hardly know anything about! And wait... it doesn't stop with their lives... they are judged for their appearances, career choices, personal lives and capabilities in general....

She wears too much makeup - Judge her ( she is sluttish) 

She doesn't wear any makeup - Judge her ( she is behenji) 

She shows too much skin - Judge her; She dresses conservatively - Judge her 

She is heavy, chubby and plump - Judge her (body sham her), 

She is thin, slim and slender - Judge her (again body sham her)

She is a working woman - Judge her; She is a housewife - Judge Her

# Choices in Life 

And hell breaks loose when women decide to make their own choices and live by them! I was surprised by the questions I was asked when I decided that I want a divorce. My cousin asked - ' You were so patient all theses years with all the abuse. So why now? A friend asked - ' Why so Late??? You should have given up long back! Isn't it my choice of when and what decision I make about my life?? After all, I am the one who will face the consequences. And the assumptions made about this decision were shocking - she has grown too much in her career and now she is arrogant and that is why she is leaving her husband! She is surely having an affair and has decided to get rid of her husband! 

Initially, I was furious and frustrated with these questions and suppositions people were throwing at me for my decisions. But, with time I understood that their opinions and speculations did not matter to me at all! What mattered to me was whether I was confident with my decision and Whether I was happy about it! I am proud of many choices that I made in my life and I am also regretful of many decisions that I took. But, as long as I know it was my choice, I am ready to own up to it and take full responsibility of the consequences. 

So, what do you think women want?? I think we want the freedom of choice and we do not need someone to allow us/ disallow us to do something/ not to do something!! 

As a society, give the women the freedom of choice. If we make a mistake, we will learn from it, if we fall, we will raise up again, if we are bruised, we will learn to heal our wounds, and when we succeed, we will have the gratification and pride of making the right choice. 

And WOMEN, just be happy.... start deciding for yourself... Do not care about the prejudices, judgement, assumptions and what not this society will throw at you! 

Insist on making your choices and making your own mistakes! 

Insist on living by your rules and Insist on choosing yourself over anything else!! 

Make that choice, live that dream, fulfill that craving, grab that opportunity and relish that freedom!!

No matter what anyone says and no matter what everyone else pushes you to do - Insist on being HAPPY and insist on being FREE!!

* I AM ME (An individual free from social positioning) - Copied from a dear friend's FB post which inspired me to post my thoughts!!