My lovely 'Grandma'

When I came from India to this country, I knew I was going to miss everyone. One of the most important person was my 'Ammamma'...I not only missed her..but was so frightened of loosing her...being not there when I have to...this was because I somewhere knew and was ready to accept the fact that she was getting older day by day...but I also knew I would never be ready to accept the fact that she would leave me one day...When my cousin told me she was ill..I prayed because I was afraid...I told God- I don't want anything in life..I just want my 'Ammamma'!! When I thnink about her, she's been falling sick from so many years....she would fall sick and then recover back all the time...so this time when they said she was really sick...everyone, especially me thought that she was gonna be fine pretty soon!! But she did not recover....and we lost her...I cannot believe it sometimes...she passed away on 18th of October and I still think may be she is around.. It happened so one night in December....I was up late in the night trying to study because it was the finals week...!! I called my mom during one of my breaks and she was attending a cousins marriage...That reminded me...everyone would be there and my "Ammamma' must be alone in the house because she does not travel...I immediately started dialing her number so that I could talk to her...That is when the truth struck me...It was 2 1/2 months already, but the fact she was not on this earth anymore...did not sink in..!!! I started writing this post...long back.....when I lost her....could not complete it till today

(March 2010) .....I guess I just was not ready to accept the fact..!!

People spoke so much about her...but there was one thing that struck me...I felt she loved me the most among all the grandchildren.. Surprise...others thought she loved them the most...Same with her children...She exhibited so much love without ever telling us literally that she did...Everyone thought she loved them the most...!! I wonder how she managed that...with 8 children..!! I always knew she was the most confident woman I have ever seen...and she was really sincere and loyal...!! She has taught me a lot of things...including Telugu...!! She was one of my first teachers indeed..And Now I know it would be a long time before I could even see her!! But above all, I knew she loved God and I know she would be there in eternity with us..!!

Love you Ammamma..!!