Life is a struggle...???

hmm....well no reason giving this time....its just a post with no reason.....
I am vexed up with life......Have 100's of things to worry about and as you know am very low on wisdom n very irresponsible as a person....well... i will list out my problems here and lemme c how i deal with them in the coming days....
first thing on my mind - fundamentals of financial management - I hate this subject and seriously i don't understand a single thing of whats happening ......how does WACC connect to capital budgeting, capital structure, cost of capital, the diff ratios etc etc and hence am very poor in the case analysis...this is gonna b a hard journey....and I hope I just sail through it somehow....
then come the ppl around me.... everyone is seriously bugging me....look at me - an aspiring HR specialist not able to handle people around herself and struggling with it....eeekk...God save me...!! Esp at times like these I feel I am a dumb head...!!!
I never understood economics and never thought things would affect me ..but they are..Inflation for sure is bothering...am trying to cut down expenses but am not successful....every other day der is a new need and the prices of commodities are damn high....am making rotis and not eating tortillas(both health n wealth reasons)...trying 2 photocopy chapters than buying books etc.,.....done!!
the next thing on my head is the economic downturn...though i do not understand the exact implications of it...i know der are lay -offs everywhere and very fews job out der....omG....wat will I do if i graduate..thank God I still have time...but will things be ok after I graduate...I dont know....lets just wait and watch....The loan is always on my head and I know I have to work...and The grad school is still after me for my first semesters mistake of mechanical engineering.....Kab tak mera peecha karegi yeh mech dept :(.......
Then comes the part which has been and will be always on my mind....the missing home part....i remember mom so much now-a-days..I miss her guidance...I have to handle everything with out her ...I even have to cook twice a week and I really don't enjoy it like many others do....!! Then comes the controversy part...behave like a girl lectures which I had many times from many people ....may be they have a point....
I then sometimes feel...all my friends and people of my age are settling down or have settled down...I have many definitions for being settled .....people either have jobs or are married or are in the process of getting married ad some people to my surprise have children..he he.... other people at least have boy friends and that shows they have someone to constantly support them through their struggle and then at least one big mysterious figure of their life is revealed........wonderful....!! And here I am still struggling to settle down in life....makes me sad sometimes....!!
above all.. I am all the time either busy with something or guilty of something and hence I don't pray...Oh...how I miss my family prayer, my church activities and my relationship with God,..!! I miss life there...

So, what do I conclude...?? Chota sa dimaag and 100 resposiblities....!! and above that nil guidance...!! Hope God helps me out...!! I have at last started realising what life is all about :(
I dont know whether I should be happy or not, but that I will decide when am through and out of all this!!

Luv,
Chandu

"LOVE YOU" - DADDY !!!

Well, I was thinkin of my dad ...was missing him way too much....so wrote this for him.....I dedicate this to him...!! And this is how it goes..!!

The best Dad in the whole world!!!

When God made me, he thought and thought;
And decided to give me to a person with a great heart.
He put me in the safest hands,
And said - " I know this is what I planned".

He was gracious enough to make you my dad,
And life without you would be dull and sad.
You held my hand and led me through,
And watched me grow taller than you.

I think of your hug and your loving kiss,
And that's the best part of what I now miss.
You guided me, taught me, gave me everything,
And without you my world goes down to nothing.

You are humble and warm, blessed with a soul so neat,
You held me when I was down and got me back to my feet.
I can never forget the day, I opened my eyes and turned my head,
And saw you praying for me, kneeling there beside my bed.

I remember the day you let me go,
And I don't know how I let those moments just flow.
I know that day was really hard for you,
And I want to tell you, it was tough for me too.

I hope I will be back, close to you and near,
And that's when I know, will be the end of every tear.
Lastly, evrything said above is genuine and true,
And there is only one thing I want you to know - DADDY - "I LOVE YOU"


- Chandana Medithi

Life without Musings..!!

A few people now ask me...what happened to your musings...I answered..." I don't have any right now..!!" and so here I am .... no posts for more than a month...was busy with India for a few days...and now I seem to be busy with my studies ....sometimes I wonder...how would it be if I were able to fly back in time.....where I always had ample time for me , myself and my family...!! I am suprised to see that I sometimes skip off a few days without talking to my mom...!! And thanks to the virus attack on my computer back home......I can't see my parents and my sister on the webcam now...I wonder if they still miss me or are they used to their new lifes without me..!! I don't know...but I can imagine how boring their life would be without me....I was the sole entertainer when Sruju was not in mood and she was rarely in mood...!! I am amazed still to see how things change, how people change, how priorities in life change, how friends change, how situations change and finally how you yourself change because of life...!!!!! God has put me in this place...where I have kinda lost myself......amazing that I don't sing and don't write anymore...and I know this is not me.... I don''t know what is in store but I am still waiting to go back..!!

Chandu ( out of musings)

Pastor Stubbs!!

Pastor Earl Stubbs and Mrs. Stubbs!!

Pastor Earl Stubbs and Mrs. Stubbs!!

Guys...u must be expecting me to write about my feelings after coming back home...but there was sumthng I wanted to write b4 I do this....as soon as I landed in India I heard this tragic news and this space in my blog is my small tribute to a gr8 man of God....I still remeber my engg days wen I kinda messed things wid ppl in my church....I evn stopped attending the church...I dint want 2 go back....and My dad then took me and sruju to AGS- Assemblies of God....and it was the first time I saw this man....Pastor Stubbs.... I was excited to see an American Pastor.....Everything was so nice in AGS tht I fell in love wid the church.....I kept going back evn after I made up with things in my church...... And of course it was Pastor Stubbs' vision ....the founder and pastor of the church which made the church so special.....I marvelled at he way he preeched....I luved his jokes.....he always walked on the overflow areas smiling and shaking hands wid people....I wondered bcos it was so unlike wat Pastors do....No one ever taught like him....It was like listening to an organised lecture....and it was so easy to take down notes...... and he was so particularly particualr about his faith....I still remember his sermon on faith...He said - Bibile says If you hav a faith the size of mustard seed, you can ask 4 anything and it will happen....and then he went on to explain the characteristics of a mustard seed....how round it is and how complete our faith should be...!!Just not the church but the whole city suffers a great loss with his demise....I marvel at this wonderful man of God who came to a alien city , made it his home, learnt the completely different culture and did so much to spread the word of God in this place....They dedicated a song to him on the sunday service and I so much agree with it...Thank you Pastor and I am so glad tht u came....!! I will never question God's will bcos we can't do it....but I jus hope tht the good work tht Pastor has started will continue and expand....And May God bless his soul...!!

Getting back home...!!

Since I started this, I have been thinking of writing.....I just did not know what to write....reason - not many musings in chandu's mind now-a-days....have been preparing for my India trip.....so there is nothing going on in my mind except India....I am completely and totally excited....its obvious that I'll never forget my life back in Hyderabad....but its also true that I will always want to go back to the place....the place where my roots are.......I sometimes wonder what made me take this decision of coming away from home.......I left everything ( and by everything I mean literally everything) back there to pursue something which really hasn't given me much happiness....but I guess that is life...you learn from your experiences and mistakes....Anyway this post was supposed to be about India especially Hyderabad. I have been waiting to go back...and the time has come now.....I Love my place.....I miss everything there....the busy roads, the crowd on the streets, the shops and malls, charminar :) , the busy buses and the bus rides, my fights with all the autowalas, the panipuri, paradise ka biryani,......above all I miss my friends, my cousins and my family. I am getting back to all of them....It must be like getting back life.....It must be like living again....!!!hmm...that was a bit too emotional....Anyway....I guess I'll be able to write only after going back.....Catch you all then....

Luv,
Chandu...!!

Introduction..!!

I went through so many blogs and decided I should start one....Inspired by Aamir Khan :).......Anyway I keep writing my diary (or journal as they call it here) often...so why not a blog....and when I asked a friend's opinion on this ...He said go ahead...So after making sure that there will be atleast one person who will be interested in my so called musings ........I decided to start this blog.... so it starts today......Its late but I present this blog to myself...its a birthday gift me.......he he....Neway I hope I'll enjoy blogging....I might even end up improving my writing skills....and all those who will read this blog...I hope you will enjoi it as much as I do....
Luv,
Chandana!!